tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74593002133914586792024-02-20T00:36:01.581-08:00My Rain in WinterRhymes, Crimes and times of an Aphotic BeautyTatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-79350197547613662642007-11-15T18:45:00.000-08:002007-11-15T18:46:04.378-08:00Old Friends<p><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Away the wind would take me,<br /> To a far off distant land.<br />Of meadows of green<br /><br /> and skies of blue,<br />no adult would understand.<br /> Softly my dreams would take me,<br /><br /> upon a yonder course.<br /> Of misty morning skies of gray,<br /> upon my big white horse.<br /><br /> Alas! I have aged and my hiding<br />place is gone.I wish that I was</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">young again,So I may carry on.<br /> <br />But hush, what is that creeping<br /> as I close my eyes to sleep?<br /> The merry friends of childhood,<br /> have come back for me to greet!<br /> </span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">1997 Tatjanna Hemsworth </span></p>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-53672694924198514652007-11-15T18:39:00.000-08:002007-11-15T18:40:32.422-08:00The closing<span style="font-size: 18px;"><strong><em><span style="color:#006600;">The warmth upon my shoulders made me feel as i were there.<br />The wind was fresh and lively as it <br />played within my hair.<br />The meadows green and lush<br />with the morning dew.<br />Though this may be the closing,<br />I still remember you.<br />The scott stone wall wound it's<br />way cross the broadened lea.<br />The comfort of your heavenly hands,<br />tells me you are free.<br />Your spirit embodies all<br />that is around.<br />butterflies cover all from the tree tops<br />to the ground.<br />And from this dream,I awake with<br />tears upon my cheeks.<br />But now i know within my heart,That<br />out there you are free.</span></em></strong></span>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-89069383935366001822007-11-15T18:25:00.000-08:002007-11-15T18:26:43.003-08:00Sickness<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);"> Why am I so cold while</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">you paint wretched yellow</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">pictures on a wall of this</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">old stagnant room?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">And you contemplate</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">suicide as I dream of</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">red roses and rainy</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">nights in grey.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">And I say shoot, pull the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">trigger, so I may smile</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">in my self indulgence. cry</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">while you rot.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">You turn the barrell at my</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">sunken face, I smile, and</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">think only you could blow</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">me away.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">You turn and paint your</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">nails, the color of oil the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">color of our dirty love,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">pitch black.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">Biting my bloody lips</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">I ignore the whim to slap</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">your sullen face, to scratch</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">away the filth.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">I lie on twisted black</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">satin and watch as you</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">paint wretched yellow</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">pictures.</span>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-9251563774518965362007-11-15T18:24:00.000-08:002007-11-15T18:25:13.014-08:00safeA blue room that houses my<br />heart. Shelters my soul and<br />leaves your name on my lips.<br /><br />Just a word behind clenched<br />teeth, just a mockery of the<br />girl I once was. just a name.<br /><br />But I won't cry, I won't break,<br />And I will never fall to pieces<br />does that make you feel safe?<br /><br />Another day and you seem to<br />fall away, your touch but a vague<br />memory left for stormy nights.<br /><br />My skin has forgotten your touch.<br />My ears have lost your laughter.<br />This blue room no longer cold.<br /><br />There are no more tears and poems<br />of the unspeakable depths where<br />I dwelt. Does this make you safe?Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-9621035758312749182007-11-15T18:23:00.002-08:002007-11-15T18:24:40.057-08:00insideNight, leaving me with the<br />want for more. I drink in the<br />cold and I am shaking.<br /><br />I don't want what the light<br />will offer. I dream of you.<br />I dream of not waking.<br /><br />Here in a cathedral of ice<br />I am me, safe in my vanity,<br />safe in my creation.<br /><br />This crystal palace beckons<br />to be left in self doubt and<br />a sad celebration.<br /><br />Here a whispering white moon<br />never moves, never crosses<br />never bides her time.<br /><br />And I search quietly for a silent<br />companion, to wander in this<br />frozen world of mine.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-31374781910784035822007-11-15T18:23:00.001-08:002007-11-15T18:23:47.988-08:00Never free , never meI'll always be the subject of doubt,<br />the flowerless maiden with crystal<br />eyes, who seeks nothing but solace.<br /><br />I'll always be the sheep who follows<br />wanting nothing more then to shed this<br />fleece of white, to hide in wolves face.<br /><br />Never free.. Never me.<br /><br />I stand here hands bound by chained<br />ropes of sickness. I struggle and writhe<br />I shake and tremble in chaste naivity.<br /><br />My body, My mind Yearns to be free of<br />the torment placed upon me, to seek a<br />place where I am welcomed in whole.<br /><br />Never Free..Never me<br /><br />But you laugh it off as a displeasured<br />illusion that will pass with time. Time is<br />not but a number that my heart has forgot.<br /><br />In the dark the turmoil, spins and twists<br />seeking a place where I will be released<br />from all the lies, the promises and regret.<br /><br /><br />Never free.. Never me.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-8458648363850088752007-11-15T18:22:00.001-08:002007-11-15T18:22:58.724-08:00Goodbye<p class="blogSubject"> Goodbye </p> <p class="blogContent">All my life i've been seeking<br />something that wasn't there<br />a blasphemous lie created<br />by none other then myself.<br /><br />"I'm not alone" they say. Yet<br />in the dark the tears are my<br />own, Melting into olive toned<br />flesh, dried into my memories.<br /><br />Keep your answers to questions<br />unknown. They are all lies that<br />only made you feel better. While<br />casting stones on my bitter heart.<br /><br />I want to shake these chains and<br />run from this place in which you<br />have drawn up around me. I want<br />to watch it burn, watch it disapear.<br /><br />Watch me as I escape your grand<br />hallucination. One cut, one kiss, one<br />goodbye and I shall fade into the dark<br />like the others that had amused you.<br /><br />Done simply, Done quickly, You won't<br />miss me I know. One jump, one click,<br />one sip and I am no more. A bitter<br />taste on your tongue, a single note.<br /><br />Goodbye is never difficult.</p>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-13198393543295238132007-11-15T18:20:00.000-08:002007-11-15T18:22:26.638-08:00fall awayEmotions stirring from a<br />wind that has brought back<br />a pain that had been lost<br />amongst my sorrow.<br /><br />Forever, wishing you<br />would walk away just<br />waiting to see the iced<br />walls of tommorow.<br /><br />I can't laugh in the face of<br />your shameful destruction<br />and I cry at the wounds<br />that are left open.<br /><br />Lucid apparitions of<br />what used to be twist<br />burn and speak forth<br />from my imagination<br /><br />So monstrous I turn<br />to find your arms, I<br />cannot bear to face<br />my own creation.<br /><br />This is when I melt.<br />This is when I cry.<br />this is when I fall away.<br /><br />That reflection, I stare<br />at. That is not my own<br />she's a happy lie who<br />stares back from my mirror<br /><br />Lost to your anger a<br />victim who has lost all<br />hope in flying, lost in<br />all her filtered terror.<br /><br />Ensanquined wrists of<br />crimnson are not without<br />regret. Left with only a<br />tale of a love , a lie.<br /><br />It is all my illusions that<br />keep me from myself.<br />imagination, keeps me<br />awake, I promise not to cry.<br /><br />This is when I break<br />this is when I scream<br />this is when I bleed<br />this is when I fall AwayTatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-19992929770858268372007-11-15T18:18:00.001-08:002007-11-15T18:18:31.493-08:00Time in motion<p class="blogSubject"> Time is Motion </p> <p class="blogContent">In the begining the time passed<br />slow, radiating amber light , soft<br />smiles and small fingers in deep<br />emerald lawns. refusing to unwind.<br /><br />With each step it jumped forward a<br />bit, encouraging wild youth, laughter,<br />spontanaity and Desperate measures.<br />leaving a novel of memories in mind.<br /><br />As things left our control, time stopped<br />giving room to cry , to mourn and to<br />breathe as we learned to let go of the<br />pain that gripped so tightly to the heart.<br /><br />And it keeps moving, long dark hands<br />always pointing to the precise moment to<br />the second that made every difference in<br />our mundane lives.So that we never forget.</p>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-30007470158672221312007-11-15T18:16:00.000-08:002007-11-15T18:17:48.841-08:00unfinished<p class="blogSubject"> Unfinished </p> I wrote the words as I had<br />spoke them. As I had once<br />whispered them in your ear.<br /><br />And they slip away from me<br />now. The words are the same<br />but the meaning has eluded me.<br /><br />What if your touch was still mine?<br />What if your kiss was still sweet?<br />I long to know, it is but a dream.<br /><br />Spoken on an april breeze. Only<br />real to me. And so I keep it here<br />so you will not change it, break it.<br /><br />The nights when I was fragile, you<br />did not speak, You stole my words<br />gave them away like pennies for candy.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-17838374309658961032007-10-05T02:55:00.000-07:002007-10-05T02:57:10.777-07:00ReflectionsReflections, Just a lie painted<br />with the resemblence of the<br />person I long to be. She is<br />not my mirror image.<br /><br />Not but a shell, a fragment<br />of who I really am. Just a<br />false apparition who appears<br />when reality is to sour.<br /><br />When I see her in the shattered<br />image of myself. I long for<br />green eyes to see me. for<br />olive skin to embrace me.<br /><br />How could I bring her here? How<br />could she teach me to smile?<br />Could she ever understand who<br />she really is, deep in this abyss?<br /><br />Two sides of the same mirror.<br />Silvers and blacks, melding into<br />one image that never made any<br />sense to those who surround her.<br /><br />There was once one, who knew her<br />who bore her spirit, who shared my<br />indifference. Who created her and I<br />as a whole Identity. Who understood.<br /><br />He left with the whispers of the fall.<br />taking the binds that held her and I as<br />one. shattering the looking glass and<br />leaving us to seperate the realities.<br /><br />I am left to wander the darkenss which<br />engulfs the rooms which he once filled.<br />I am left to strip the garbs of his broad<br />humility.while she is left to smile.<br /><br />She stares into the looking glass. Emerald<br />eyes shining. Raven hair pulled high. From<br />here I can taste her lies. I can smell her<br />pain. Just a reflection which is a lie.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-78685505657614876282007-10-05T02:54:00.002-07:002007-10-05T02:55:33.278-07:00Faded pink flowersFaded pink flowers<br />my memory of you<br />Faded pink flowers<br />forever turning blue<br />Petals, like my<br />battered blue tears<br />Softly falling, dried,<br />forgotten by years.<br />faded pink flowers<br />left to dry and age<br />Faded pink flowers<br />a mask for the rage.<br />leaves dried, brittle<br />like thoughts of you.<br />Green turned to brown.<br />death to turn to.<br />faded pink flowers<br />my memory of you<br />faded pink flowers<br />forever turning blue.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-54464518226826682692007-10-05T02:54:00.001-07:002007-10-05T02:54:46.841-07:00King at courtYou with your staff of<br />disgruntled, wharped<br />and saddened dignity.<br /><br />Of all the misled kings<br />of this world how dare<br />it be YOU who judge ME?<br /><br />Though your conclusions<br />may be right. you have<br />no more room to say.<br /><br />Like a burning slap to<br />stinging cheek. pretend<br />it's all in play.<br /><br />Does loyalty come at such<br />a measured cost? Must I<br />pay the heavy price?<br /><br />I grow weak of these sad<br />and muddled games of shit<br />faced men and mice.<br /><br />But, the queen has spoken.<br />The kings must turn up their<br />noses and obey.<br /><br />They cut out the heart<br />and serve it raw. Just<br />because they may.<br /><br />Is this the rotten thing<br />that people do? of which<br />you always speak?<br /><br />Come around in your time.<br />I won't be there my heart<br />has grown to weak.<br /><br />And when her highness is<br />finished with you, will<br />you know what you lost?<br /><br />Fame and glamour, jewels<br />of any kind. Come at such<br />a heavy, damp cost.<br /><br />Talk the gossip of the court<br />the jester that dances, is<br />none other then you.<br /><br />Know the difference of those<br />who lie and those who have<br />always been true.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-16382010742163004732007-10-05T02:53:00.001-07:002007-10-05T02:53:45.872-07:00PurityLast night it rained,<br />tears falling from the clouds<br />leaving a cool sweat upon<br />the quiet black street.<br /><br />Sometime in the night,<br />the heavy drops were soothed<br />by the honest flakes, that<br />kissed the olive trees.<br /><br />I awoke to a world,<br />White and pure, wounds now<br />cleansed, silver blankets<br />hugging the land.<br /><br />It wasn't persistant,<br />Soft clumps, slip and slide<br />from rooftops and trees,<br />purity melts in your hands.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-16293473136164503072007-10-05T02:52:00.000-07:002007-10-05T02:53:07.228-07:00In my HeartIn my heart there are things<br />That i'll never ever say.<br />But there are words of comfort<br />for that sad and dreary day.<br /><br />In my heart there is a pool<br />of emotions not yet tapped<br />An atlas of a journey that<br />I have not yet mapped<br /><br />In my heart there are songs<br />that I have not yet sung<br />but a tune that is familiar<br />comes rolling off my tongue.<br /><br />In my heart there is a room<br />that is painted sorrow blue<br />I'll gladley paint it anything<br />as this room belongs to you.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-76477002244307687142007-10-05T02:50:00.004-07:002007-10-05T02:52:28.490-07:00Little StarCount your blessings little star,<br />That you don't live upon the ground<br />Be thankful, that we have never<br />found a way to pull you down.<br /><br />Just stay up high, where you are.<br />Don't be curious or naive.<br />For the things that get pulled under<br />cannot find a way to leave.<br /><br />We will pull the brightness out.<br />then disect it at our will.<br />Oppurtunity is what drives us.<br />we don't care for how you feel.<br /><br />Stay in heaven little star.<br />we will only cause you pain.<br />You will drift among the darkness.<br />you will never be the same.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-78236140825785421252007-10-05T02:50:00.003-07:002007-10-05T02:50:55.286-07:00Soundless2 am is like suicide, dark and alone.<br />the painful silence cuts through me<br />like a knife to longing wrists.<br />Time stops, the minutes crawl<br />by, it's to late to be asleep but<br />to early to wake up, like the<br />nights own version of limbo.<br /><br />Tic toc, drums out the clock,<br />as if mocking my yearning<br />to close my eyes. click click.<br />And I think, I'm talking to a<br />clock, oh well, continue.<br /><br />Outside the fog settles like<br />condensed milk, thick and ungodly.<br />and the cold taps at my door<br />waiting for an invitation to<br />make pimples on my skin.<br /><br />At 2 oh 7 I am sitting here<br />conversing with a clock,<br />screaming at the cold while<br />watching the light play in the fog.<br />and yet I've never made a sound.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-51040489868816877232007-10-05T02:50:00.001-07:002007-10-05T02:50:23.597-07:00SleepSlipping silver cords entangled<br />round, charcoal dreams. I<br />cannot find a way to escape<br />the echos of your voice.<br /><br />And I stir from a reality that<br />paints the yellow lies of the<br />epic hypocrisy in which I<br />am not allowed to follow.<br /><br />Stabbing with your satin blades<br />you long to push me down.<br />to sink below your rapids.<br />to lose myself in you.<br /><br />For a moment I reach, I<br />long to be pulled from the<br />black walls of my solitude.<br />You can not save me.<br /><br />I am marked though you<br />can't see. In here I am alone<br />to serve the sentence I have<br />been dealt with in these walls.<br /><br />I have begged you for asylum,<br />and you spit on my servitude.<br />So I am banished, to be alone<br />within the black walls of my heart.<br /><br />As Silver coards crush my dreams<br />silver blade extinguishes my soul<br />I will meet the night and give to<br />the enevitable promise of sleep.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-18042311290414537772007-10-05T02:48:00.002-07:002007-10-05T02:49:56.258-07:00Old Friends<p><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Away the wind would take me,<br /> To a far off distant land.<br />Of meadows of green<br /><br /> and skies of blue,<br />no adult would understand.<br /> Softly my dreams would take me,<br /><br /> upon a yonder course.<br /> Of misty morning skies of gray,<br /> upon my big white horse.<br /><br /> Alas! I have aged and my hiding<br />place is gone.I wish that I was</span></p> <span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">young again,So I may carry on.<br /> <br />But hush, what is that creeping<br /> as I close my eyes to sleep?<br /> The merry friends of childhood,<br /> have come back for me to greet!<br /></span>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-34682339769957932762007-10-05T02:48:00.001-07:002007-10-05T02:48:29.671-07:00IceRun your fingers down<br />my spine, I already shudder<br />from your words.<br /><br />Kiss my sweet red lips<br />taste the indifference you<br />have left there.<br /><br />I am no clone, no fool<br />for your mischeivious<br />foul deeds.<br /><br />The memory of your<br />death is still fresh in my<br />apathetic state.<br /><br />I am ice and no longer<br />are you the warmth to melt<br />my frozen heart.<br /><br />So breathe me in, enjoy<br />the feel of my sultry touch, you<br />will get no more.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-39649204264443473962007-10-05T02:47:00.000-07:002007-10-05T02:48:07.845-07:00WhenSoft slivers of silver invade<br />the dark corners of this room.<br />once was the gold of an early<br />warm autumn. now a dream.<br /><br />Sixteen, no cares, just you<br />and me. The wheat moved in<br />waves among the fields and<br />you held my hand, my heart.<br /><br />You'd strum your guitar and<br />play my favoite song while I<br />laughed and layed on the grass<br />staring at big blue sky above.<br /><br />And the kiss, so sweet so tender<br />so innocent and warm. There was<br />no other in this world just you. Hair<br />of gold eyes of blue, skin so fair.<br /><br />The years flew by and change is<br />enevitable, In a grey room of<br />windows and glass you no longer<br />gave so freely, I no longer took.<br /><br />Worn out and estranged you took<br />what I no longer had to offer. eyes<br />sunken, body weary from the high<br />and the low. I no longer loved you.<br /><br />No goodbyes, just fade away. I<br />won't see you again. The gold<br />bleeding to black and my world<br />chokes on it's own sorrows.<br /><br />The months rolled by, on your<br />birthday you came back, not as<br />yourself but as a child, but I know<br />those eyes. that smile. it is your own.<br /><br />And so then the best gift you gave.<br />returning my autumn and it's gold<br />colors and the hope of something<br />more. Something that was lost.<br /><br />There are nights when I dream and<br />I hate you less, your smile and silent<br />happiness melts me again. The sky<br />is blue like your eyes and I am laughing.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-80023388819192571552007-10-05T02:46:00.000-07:002007-10-05T02:47:28.589-07:00SometimesSometimes, There is beauty in<br />the darkness. Like the diamond<br />stars which shine in night sky.<br /><br />Sometimes, there is love when<br />it seems everything has been<br />lost to the only question of, why?<br /><br />And it never fails, these moments<br />come when they are needed the<br />most. When the world is bleak.<br /><br />Someone takes you by the hand<br />and pulls you to your feet, when<br />you can't stand, when you are weak.<br /><br />Sometimes, when the rain comes<br />pouring down. There is the warmth<br />of friends and the touch of love.<br /><br />Sometimes, When the winter wind<br />blows, there is shelter. A gift that<br />some would say is sent from above.<br /><br />When it seems hopeless and there<br />is no reason to live with this sad<br />life. When you just can't go on.<br /><br />That is when grace interveins.<br />when you are changed by the<br />single note of a beautiful song.<br /><br />Sometimes, Just sometimes there<br />is reason for hope, There becomes<br />an excuse to smile, room to live.<br /><br />Sometimes<br />Just<br />Sometimes.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-43227316626366447322007-10-05T02:45:00.000-07:002007-10-05T02:46:34.890-07:00Darkness<span style="font-size: 24px;"><strong><em><span style="color:#ff99ff;">My head hung low<br />In bitter shame.<br />Such confusion<br />with me to blame.<br />Cuts and bruises ,<br />mark my face.<br />My mind is gone ,<br />a different place.<br />I feel so cold<br />and all alone.<br />my spirit broke ,<br />My pride is gone.<br />My abuser loved,<br />no room for hate.<br />every morning forgotten,<br />a clean black slate.<br />There is never a talk,<br />just screams and fists.<br />such stonecold words from a loved ones<br /> lips.A child I was<br />but now grown up.<br />have not I suffered,<br />just long enough?</span></em></strong></span>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-87062472629148863082007-10-05T02:44:00.000-07:002007-10-05T02:45:44.050-07:00Winter<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 24px;"><strong><em><span style="color:#666666;">Winter,cold and bitter ,<br />has gone.<br />With him the chills<br />furious song.<br />I am melting with the<br />clean white snow.<br />With the spring ,my hopes<br />and dreams must go.<br />Soon there are flowers<br />in bloom.<br />Shuttered away,I am this<br />room.<br />From sunlight,I must<br />always flee.<br />Crippled from this disgrace<br />in me.<br />Wanning for the dreamt<br />of day,<br />I may feel warmth upon<br />my face.<br />I am lost and oh, so<br />alone.<br />These bitter thoughts chill<br />my bones.<br />My freezing flesh won't understand.<br />My frozen heart kept<br />underhand.<br />Without you I am<br />winter.<br />absolute,cold and bitter.</span></em></strong></span></span>Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7459300213391458679.post-4755764567679251722007-10-05T02:43:00.001-07:002007-10-05T02:43:54.433-07:00nonsenseCandy colored dreams toss<br />about my healing heart, like<br />fluffy cotton candy at some<br />three ring circus.<br /><br />When the show is over, love<br />lay discarded on cold grey<br />littered floor. Forgotten for<br />the the moment.<br /><br />I was to busy chasing the<br />raindrops that dripped off<br />my eyelashes and slip down<br />blushing cheeks.<br /><br />If there was sorrow I no<br />longer feel it there. I may<br />have left it with the filth<br />I threw away..<br /><br />I'm sorry...Perhaps not.<br /><br /><br />Oh you startled me with<br />your words, odd like a<br />satin sweater on an old<br />white poodle.<br /><br />And yes, that may have<br />been a smile. But the humor<br />was the end of the joke. not<br />the beginning.<br /><br />I waited for the punchline.It<br />never came. So I wrote my<br />own and it was black and blue.<br />Much like you.<br /><br />I'm sorry...Perhaps not.<br /><br />Did you like me? In my sweet<br />dresses and clown like makeup.<br />I could dance in circles if you want.<br />but you don't.<br /><br />Maybe I'll kiss your lips, Maybe<br />I'll just watch for awhile. Like<br />a raven waiting for her prey<br />to die, slowly.<br /><br />Maybe I'll renew that pain. Let<br />you grasp that spot and just<br />run with sunshine and lollipops.<br />Maybe I will.<br /><br />Perhaps not.Tatjanna Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14454223796154248152noreply@blogger.com0