Old Friends

Away the wind would take me,
To a far off distant land.
Of meadows of green

and skies of blue,
no adult would understand.
Softly my dreams would take me,

upon a yonder course.
Of misty morning skies of gray,
upon my big white horse.

Alas! I have aged and my hiding
place is gone.I wish that I was

young again,So I may carry on.

But hush, what is that creeping
as I close my eyes to sleep?
The merry friends of childhood,
have come back for me to greet!

1997 Tatjanna Hemsworth

The closing

The warmth upon my shoulders made me feel as i were there.
The wind was fresh and lively as it
played within my hair.
The meadows green and lush
with the morning dew.
Though this may be the closing,
I still remember you.
The scott stone wall wound it's
way cross the broadened lea.
The comfort of your heavenly hands,
tells me you are free.
Your spirit embodies all
that is around.
butterflies cover all from the tree tops
to the ground.
And from this dream,I awake with
tears upon my cheeks.
But now i know within my heart,That
out there you are free.

Sickness

Why am I so cold while
you paint wretched yellow
pictures on a wall of this
old stagnant room?

And you contemplate
suicide as I dream of
red roses and rainy
nights in grey.

And I say shoot, pull the
trigger, so I may smile
in my self indulgence. cry
while you rot.

You turn the barrell at my
sunken face, I smile, and
think only you could blow
me away.

You turn and paint your
nails, the color of oil the
color of our dirty love,
pitch black.

Biting my bloody lips
I ignore the whim to slap
your sullen face, to scratch
away the filth.

I lie on twisted black
satin and watch as you
paint wretched yellow
pictures.

safe

A blue room that houses my
heart. Shelters my soul and
leaves your name on my lips.

Just a word behind clenched
teeth, just a mockery of the
girl I once was. just a name.

But I won't cry, I won't break,
And I will never fall to pieces
does that make you feel safe?

Another day and you seem to
fall away, your touch but a vague
memory left for stormy nights.

My skin has forgotten your touch.
My ears have lost your laughter.
This blue room no longer cold.

There are no more tears and poems
of the unspeakable depths where
I dwelt. Does this make you safe?

inside

Night, leaving me with the
want for more. I drink in the
cold and I am shaking.

I don't want what the light
will offer. I dream of you.
I dream of not waking.

Here in a cathedral of ice
I am me, safe in my vanity,
safe in my creation.

This crystal palace beckons
to be left in self doubt and
a sad celebration.

Here a whispering white moon
never moves, never crosses
never bides her time.

And I search quietly for a silent
companion, to wander in this
frozen world of mine.

Never free , never me

I'll always be the subject of doubt,
the flowerless maiden with crystal
eyes, who seeks nothing but solace.

I'll always be the sheep who follows
wanting nothing more then to shed this
fleece of white, to hide in wolves face.

Never free.. Never me.

I stand here hands bound by chained
ropes of sickness. I struggle and writhe
I shake and tremble in chaste naivity.

My body, My mind Yearns to be free of
the torment placed upon me, to seek a
place where I am welcomed in whole.

Never Free..Never me

But you laugh it off as a displeasured
illusion that will pass with time. Time is
not but a number that my heart has forgot.

In the dark the turmoil, spins and twists
seeking a place where I will be released
from all the lies, the promises and regret.


Never free.. Never me.

Goodbye

Goodbye

All my life i've been seeking
something that wasn't there
a blasphemous lie created
by none other then myself.

"I'm not alone" they say. Yet
in the dark the tears are my
own, Melting into olive toned
flesh, dried into my memories.

Keep your answers to questions
unknown. They are all lies that
only made you feel better. While
casting stones on my bitter heart.

I want to shake these chains and
run from this place in which you
have drawn up around me. I want
to watch it burn, watch it disapear.

Watch me as I escape your grand
hallucination. One cut, one kiss, one
goodbye and I shall fade into the dark
like the others that had amused you.

Done simply, Done quickly, You won't
miss me I know. One jump, one click,
one sip and I am no more. A bitter
taste on your tongue, a single note.

Goodbye is never difficult.

fall away

Emotions stirring from a
wind that has brought back
a pain that had been lost
amongst my sorrow.

Forever, wishing you
would walk away just
waiting to see the iced
walls of tommorow.

I can't laugh in the face of
your shameful destruction
and I cry at the wounds
that are left open.

Lucid apparitions of
what used to be twist
burn and speak forth
from my imagination

So monstrous I turn
to find your arms, I
cannot bear to face
my own creation.

This is when I melt.
This is when I cry.
this is when I fall away.

That reflection, I stare
at. That is not my own
she's a happy lie who
stares back from my mirror

Lost to your anger a
victim who has lost all
hope in flying, lost in
all her filtered terror.

Ensanquined wrists of
crimnson are not without
regret. Left with only a
tale of a love , a lie.

It is all my illusions that
keep me from myself.
imagination, keeps me
awake, I promise not to cry.

This is when I break
this is when I scream
this is when I bleed
this is when I fall Away

Time in motion

Time is Motion

In the begining the time passed
slow, radiating amber light , soft
smiles and small fingers in deep
emerald lawns. refusing to unwind.

With each step it jumped forward a
bit, encouraging wild youth, laughter,
spontanaity and Desperate measures.
leaving a novel of memories in mind.

As things left our control, time stopped
giving room to cry , to mourn and to
breathe as we learned to let go of the
pain that gripped so tightly to the heart.

And it keeps moving, long dark hands
always pointing to the precise moment to
the second that made every difference in
our mundane lives.So that we never forget.

unfinished

Unfinished

I wrote the words as I had
spoke them. As I had once
whispered them in your ear.

And they slip away from me
now. The words are the same
but the meaning has eluded me.

What if your touch was still mine?
What if your kiss was still sweet?
I long to know, it is but a dream.

Spoken on an april breeze. Only
real to me. And so I keep it here
so you will not change it, break it.

The nights when I was fragile, you
did not speak, You stole my words
gave them away like pennies for candy.